


Reverberate

by Seatrix



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Band Fic, Drummer Hyde, Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Guitarist! Lily, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I mean does it count if i tried my best to edit, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lonely Mahiru, M/M, Mahiru is lonely, Not Beta Read, Reunions, Singer! Kuro, Updates Every Saturday, Well I tried with the angst anyways, eventually, i think i go way too into the music descriptions lmao, screamo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seatrix/pseuds/Seatrix
Summary: His throat felt dry, and he was in complete shock, because the tired looking boy who had practically dragged himself onto the stage was singing.Or more accurately:The boy on the stage was screaming....They meet, and everything that comes after.
Relationships: Hyde | Lawless/Licht Jekylland Todoroki, Kuro | Sleepy Ash/Shirota Mahiru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shirota Mahiru/Watanuki Sakuya (one-sided), which are
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Mahiru was at their very first concert. 

He had been working as a waiter in the bar they were playing at for a few months at that point, not paying any mind to them when they first got onto the stage. It was a small town with very few places where musicians could perform, and between his workplace and one other restaurant in town, it was common to see aspiring bands step onto the stage. 

It was when they started to play that Mahiru looked up; the bar went silent and somewhere someone had dropped a glass. The male singer’s voice reverberated throughout the room, and Mahiru swore that he could feel it in his bones. 

His throat felt dry, and he was in complete shock, because the tired looking boy who had practically dragged himself onto the stage was singing. 

Or more accurately: 

The boy on the stage was  _ screaming. _

He had never heard anything like it before, and it was beyond him how the main singer could possibly scream like that without getting a sore throat. The band was a little bit out of sync— the drummer was too loud, the guitar too fast, and the singer too slow— but there was something about the pure emotion that they poured into their performance that entranced Mahiru. It felt so  _ raw _ , so real, like he could hear their pain. 

When the initial shock began to die down, a few people tried to resume their activities from before, but the amount of noise blasting from the speakers were too overwhelming and many of them just covered their ears. 

“Hey!” one person called out to him. Mahiru could barely hear it, “can you tell them to leave the stage?” 

Mahiru turns to the man and blinks, snapping out of his daze when he answers, “I’ll have to talk to the owner for that—” 

Before he could finish his sentence, the bar owner, Gray, had already made his way over to the stage. He was yelling something at the band, and the replies of the singer could be heard loud and clear through the microphone. 

“So tiresome… fine,” the singer sighs, running a hand through his blue hair, “can’t deal.” 

The owner seems to be satisfied by the answer and leaves the stage as music starts up again, this time much tamer than what had been playing before. 

Suddenly very interested in the band on the stage, Mahiru sneaks glances every now and then between serving drinks. He could make out three figures on the stage: a drummer, a guitarist, and the main singer, but out of the three, Mahiru found his eyes drawn to the singer: tall and lanky with a mop of messy blue hair.

There was a certain drawl to his voice as he sang, and even though Mahiru couldn’t help but feel that it lacked the depth that it had before, something about the vocals soothed him. Mahiru lets himself be carried away by the vocals, relishing in the low, gentle tone. There was nothing to indicate that the boy was capable of screaming the way he had earlier, save for the tiniest bit of roughness to his voice. 

The voice carries him through part of his shift, and he feels unreasonably disappointed when they finally step off the stage. The rest of the night is filled with solo singers and familiar groups, but none of them could match up to the wonder that he felt when listening to  _ that _ band. 

When he’s clocking out for the night, he finds his curiosity overwhelms him. “Hey Gray?” 

He responds with a halfhearted “Hmm?” 

“What’s the name of that band that was playing tonight?” 

“Which one?” 

“The one who you had to stop at the beginning,” he says. After a little more thought, he adds, “the one with the screaming?” 

Gray gives him a look from the corner of his eyes, “You’re interested in that kind of music? I didn’t peg you as the type.” 

Mahiru laughs awkwardly, “Well, I just thought it was pretty interesting, you know?” 

The man flips through some papers, “I don’t usually let that type of band play here, but the kids were eager and what could I do?” 

“You’re pretty soft,” Mahiru teases, and the owner rolls his eyes. 

“It’s my old age getting to me,” he grumbles as he hands a paper over to Mahiru, “Servamp.”

“Servamp?” 

“Their band name, it’s Servamp.” 

Mahiru scans over the paper, a list of names under the band name. He quickly notices something, and grimaces, “They’re all underage,” he says. 

Gray leans back in his chair, “yeah and so are you, youngsters need to get their money from somewhere you know? S’hard for small bands like that to get their name out there.” 

“It’s illegal, sir.” 

“You’re even younger than them, you know?” Gray laughs, taking the paper back from Mahiru. 

He pouts, “Yeah but, thinking simply, I need more money if I’m going to continue attending highschool.” 

“Don’t you have a scholarship?” 

“There’s no harm in a little extra...” Mahiru trails off, feeling a little bit guilty. His uncle had no idea about his job, and Mahiru knew he would get mad if he did. He wasn’t nearly old enough to work at a bar, but it was the only place that was hiring at the time and he knew that they needed the money. 

The owner hums thoughtfully, “You’re quitting today, right?” 

Mahiru nods, “Final exams are starting soon so I need a lot of time to study.” 

“Eager to get out of this place, huh?” 

He blushes, “Uhm, well, it’s not like I don’t like working here—” 

“Don’t try to comfort me, we both know that it’s better if you work somewhere else,” he sighs, “ah, but, you’re not allowed in here anymore once you quit, so I guess that’s the last time you’re seeing that band of yours.” 

“Eh?!” 

He pushes Mahiru out the door, handing him an envelope with his pay for the month. “Good luck on your entrance exams! And don’t forget about the nice old man who let you work for him!” 

“Wai—” Mahiru finds himself outside before he can protest, and he slumps over, half in defeat and half in exhaustion. He still had a lot of reviewing to do, but it was already late and he was tired from working all night. Mahiru yawns and rubs at his eyes. 

Deciding that a little break wouldn’t hurt, Mahiru leans against the brick wall. The alleyway he’s in is dingy, with the mess left over from drunk patrons scattered all over the ground. There were shards of glass and open trash bags spilling out of dumpsters, graffiti that spread over the walls like vines, ranging from complex and beautiful works of art to crude drawings of human genitalia and swear words. It smells like dried alcohol and vomit, but despite all of that, Mahiru stays, letting the signs of life overwhelm him. The chattering from the bar, the faint pulse of music through the wall, the grotesque sight before him that proved that he wasn’t the only one who had been there. 

“What’s a kid like you doing out so late?” Someone says, snapping him out of reverie. Mahiru looks up in surprise, catching a glimpse of blue and straightening with a gasp. 

It was the singer from the bar. Briefly, Mahiru wonders why he was still hanging around when it must have been hours since his gig ended, but he quickly shakes the thought out of his head. __

_ I shouldn’t suspect anyone without reason.  _

“Uhm, I’m er…” the singer looked like he was about to collapse from sleep deprivation, with droopy eyes and dark bags under them. Despite all of that, though, some part of Mahiru noted that he was actually quite attractive. 

The blue-haired boy sighs, “What a pain.” 

Mahiru finally gets his bearings. “I’m not a kid! I’m an adult!” 

He gives him a look, “Right, and I’m a vampire.” 

“You are?” 

All he gets is a flat look in return, “Are you drunk?” he asks, “You shouldn’t drink when you’re so young.” 

“Like I said I’m not—” 

Mahiru doesn’t get to finish his sentence, though, because the stranger has suddenly moved much closer and oh god he was prettier up close. He hums, “Guess you’re just an idiot, then.” Under normal circumstances, Mahiru would have absolutely protested, but it was late and he was tired and this  _ attractive stranger was very close to him.  _ “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”    
  


“Oh,” Mahiru says. He can feel more and more of his brain cells fizz out with each second that passes with the stranger just  _ standing _ there. The fact that Mahiru had been admiring him all night really didn’t help the situation, either. “Thank you,” he somehow manages to say. 

The boy raises an eyebrow. “You aren’t very good at suspecting people, are you?” 

“I don’t think you’d kidnap me,” Mahiru says. The boy lets out a sigh and turns away from Mahiru, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. 

“Agh, what a pain,” he mumbles, “hurry up, I want to go to sleep.” 

“What’s your name?” Mahiru asks as he leads the both of them out of the alleyway. 

The stranger sighs again, “Kuro.” 

“Nice to meet you, Kuro! I’m Mahiru.”    
  


Kuro doesn’t reply, but Mahiru was known for his determination and he wasn’t about to give up. “Uh, I liked your singing,” he says. 

“So you were drinking after all?” Kuro snorts, turning his head to look at him, “I don’t know what your friends at school are telling you, but it’s better to quit now or it’ll be a pain later.” 

“I wasn’t drinking!” Mahiru snaps, “I worked there!” 

“Aren’t you a bit young to be working at a bar?” 

Mahiru thinks back to Gray, realizing he had almost revealed the man, and quickly backtracks. “I’m an adult,” he insists. 

Kuro sighs and mumbles something that sounds a lot like, “What a pain.” 

“Hey—” 

“You don’t have to lie, everyone knows Gray has a soft spot for young people.” 

Mahiru pauses, “Well, that is true.” 

“I’m only seventeen myself, anyways, so I can’t really judge you.” 

“I know.” 

Kuro had moved a significant distance away from him, eyeing him with exaggerated caution. 

“So you’re a stalker, I knew I shouldn’t have tried to help…” 

“No!” Mahiru yells, he feels his face warm and looks away from Kuro, “I just, I thought you guys were good so I asked Gray for your name and he gave me a sheet and your ages were on it.” 

The bluenette narrows his eyes in mock suspicion, “Hmmm… what proof do you have?” 

“Proof?” 

“Yeah, name a song that we sang, and maybe I’ll trust you.” 

Mahiru rolls his eyes, “I told you, I was working, and I’m not a huge listener of music so I really wouldn’t know” 

“Suspicious…” 

“I can tell you my favourite one though,” Mahiru says, “it’s the first one you sang.” 

Kuro stops for a moment, “Really?” 

Mahiru nods, turning to face the surprised boy. “Yeah, I thought it was really impressive.” 

“Most people don’t like that kind of music.” 

“Well, if it’s something you like to sing then that’s fine, right?” Mahiru grins, and Kuro stays silent. 

“Guys like you are such a pain,” he sighs, and Mahiru startles. 

“What?! That’s so mean!” 

Kuro shrinks away, “So loud…” he mumbles. 

“Jeez,” Mahiru huffs, crossing his arms, “and I thought you were actually a nice guy.” 

“I  _ am _ a nice guy,” Kuro replies, “why else would I be walking a stalker kid like you home when it’s such a pain.”    
  


“Nobody asked you to do that,” Mahiru says, “and I’m not a stalker.”    
  


Kuro sighs, “and that’s why I’m a nice guy.” 

“Why you—” 

“Aaah, I’m so tired, I think I might collapse…” Kuro groans, crouching down onto the ground. 

Mahiru’s irritation is swept away in an instant and concern rushes in to take its place, wondering if the sleep deprivation had gotten to Kuro after all. He stops in front of him and bends slightly, trying to see if the other boy was okay. He feels guilt bubble up inside him— Kuro didn’t have to walk him home, maybe if he had just protested a little more— 

Kuro suddenly lifts his head, and their noses brush. Kuro’s eyes widen in surprise, and Mahiru notices that they’re a pretty shade of red. 

“Are you okay?” 

Kuro looks speechless, for just a moment, before the apathy is back and he mutters, “Aren’t you a little too close?” 

Mahiru jolts back, feeling his face burn. “Ah, uhm, sorry.” He manages to stutter out. 

“You’re so troublesome,” Kuro sighs as he stands up, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

“I’m not!” Mahiru snaps, regaining his composure, “You’re perfectly fine! You tricked me!” 

Kuro puts his hands over his ears, “Ah, such accusations, you’re so cruel Mahiru.”    
  
“Agh! Whatever,” Mahiru increases his pace, much to the chagrin of Kuro. 

“So fast… can’t deal…” he complains, catching up to Mahiru anyways. 

Mahiru slows down a little bit, still feeling a little bit concerned for the sleepy-looking boy. Silence hangs between them, and before either of them can say another word, Mahiru’s apartment complex comes into view. 

“Oh, we’re here,” he says, feeling a little disappointed with the fact that he can’t talk to Kuro a little longer. An idea suddenly comes to mind, and he turns excitedly to Kuro, “Hey, why don’t we—”

“You’re such an idiot,” Kuro mutters, brushing fingers through his bangs and sighing, “You just led some random dude to your apartment.” 

Mahiru blinks, confused. “Eh?” 

Kuro gives him an exasperated look, “It’s too much of a pain to explain, but you should be more careful in the future, not everyone is as nice as me, you know.” 

“I’m not good at suspecting people,” Mahiru mumbles, and Kuro reaches out his hand. 

“You really are a pain, I can’t deal with guys like you.” 

Mahiru stares at the hand, then at Kuro.

“Phone.” 

“Ah, okay,” Mahiru reaches into his pocket and unlocks the phone. ,

Kuro gives him another look when he presses it into his hand, but doesn’t say anything as he taps out a few things. 

“It’d be a pain if you got kidnapped or something,” Kuro explains, “you can text me if you ever plan on going to bars alone again.”

Mahiru snatches the phone from him. “I wasn’t drinking!” 

“I didn’t say you were, how suspicious.” 

Mahiru feels irritation prick at his skin, “Kuro—” but before he could say anything more, the boy had already turned and was waving a lazy goodbye. 

“Agh, geez, he’s so annoying,” Mahiru grumbles, shoving his phone into his pocket. The happiness from making a new friend quickly takes over, though, and soon he finds himself smiling. 

That was how Mahiru met Kuro. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! 
> 
> This is a bit of a short chapter but bear with me for now cause a bigger chapter is coming up soon~ (next week) 
> 
> I have a bit of an idea of where I want this story to go so i'll try to finish writing the rough draft in the next week and hopefully by the next update I'll have finished the whole thing and I can try to polish it up some more. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy ~

If Mahiru has anything to say about what happened afterwards, he’d say that it all went by too quickly. It was like a firework, beautiful and breathtaking as it hung in the sky, but before you know it, everything is over, and the only thing that remains is an acrid smell of smoke and a fleeting memory of what had just passed. 

It’s these memories that he lets himself drown in, night after night. Hidden smiles, the soft feeling of strands of blue between his fingers, the way Kuro looked at him with his eyes full of fear, backing away and into the shadows, never to be seen again. 

Everything starts with a single text. 

Hey! This is Mahiru! 

It was something simple, just the way he liked things. And the cat sticker that Kuro had sent him afterwards was unexpected, but cute. The contrast of the two images makes Mahiru giggle to himself. 

One text turns into dozens, then hundreds, then too many to count, with Mahiru staying up at night under his covers, smiling to himself as Kuro complains about being tired. Kuro would also send him audio clips of new songs that his band is working on, and even though they usually talk about absolutely nothing at all, Mahiru finds himself enjoying his conversations with the other boy. 

His friends start to notice the way he’s always looking and smiling at his phone, and one day, Sakuya leans his elbows on the desk and smiles teasingly. 

“You’ve been awfully attached to your phone lately, Mahiru.” 

“I have?” Had he been ignoring his friends lately? “Sorry about that.” 

Ryusei opens his mouth to say something, but Sakuya slaps a hand over his mouth before he can get anything out. 

“No, no I understand,” Sakuya turns and sniffs, “Mahiru’s got himself a girlfriend and now he’s ignoring us.” 

“Wha—” Mahiru stands up, “It’s not that!” 

Sakuya puts a hand on his forehead and leans back dramatically, “Oh, don’t try to spare our feelings Mahiru, we understand.” 

“Come on, Sakuya, lets not tease him like this,” Koyuki says, “It’s up to Mahiru to tell us about his girlfriend.” 

“Koyuki!” Mahiru protests, and the aforementioned boy just starts laughing. 

Ryusei shoves Sakura’s hand away. “Seriously though Mahiru, how come you’ve been staring at your phone like some lovestruck shoujo manga protagonist?” 

“I have not!” 

“You have,” his three friends say in unison, nodding solemnly. 

Mahiru buries his face in his arms and groans. “I just made a new friend recently, that’s all.” 

“Ooh,” Sakura drawls, “just a friend?” 

“Yes,” Mahiru snaps, “just a friend.” 

Sakura starts laughing and wraps an arm around Mahiru’s shoulder. “Well, you should introduce us sometime, then.” 

Mahiru rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah.” 

His phone decides to buzz at that moment, and his friends laugh as he grabs it and checks the message on it. It’s only a random notification, though, and he huffs in disappointment, tossing his phone to one side. 

Koyuki snickers, “Wasn’t what you were expecting?” 

“Shut up,” Mahiru feels his face growing hot again, and he looks away in embarrassment. 

“He’s blushing!” 

Mahiru sulks as they start poking fun at him again, but he still can’t help stealing glances at his phone.

I wonder if Kuro fell asleep again. 

Time passes, and somewhere around the second week he’d started talking to Kuro, the other boy asks him if he’d like to come to one of their band rehearsals. 

Mahiru replies excitedly, sending a plethora of exclamation marks and cheering emojis. He had been wanting to listen to the band play again ever since he’d first heard them, and the little audio clips that Kuro had sent him every so often was barely enough. 

Especially because he doesn’t even sing in them. 

Kuro replies a moment later, sending him the date and location, and Mahiru hurries to mark it in a calendar, even if he knows that he definitely won’t forget about it. 

When the day comes around, Mahiru is practically vibrating with excitement, and he makes sure he’s there ten minutes early, just in case. It ended up being a good call, too, since the address led to a huge building filled with a bunch of different rooms, and it took Mahiru a little while to find the correct room. 

He looks up at the door and takes a deep breath, putting his hand on the knob and turning it to the side. “Hello?” 

The room is dark when he steps inside, and Mahiru wonders if he had entered the wrong room. He checks the door again and looks into the room again. 

Maybe they haven’t gotten here yet? 

Mahiru steps into the room and turns on the light switch next to the door. 

And then he jumps back five steps and screams. 

There was a figure splayed on the floor, a blue hoodie pulled up to their head. They turn over when they hear Mahiru scream, and grumbles a little before opening his eyes. 

“Kuro?!” 

“Agh, you’re here too early,” the bluenette groans, bringing an arm up to cover his eyes. 

“By a minute!” 

“What a pain.” 

Mahiru marches over and grabs Kuro by the hood, pulling him to a sitting position. “It’s the afternoon, why are you still sleeping?” 

“Mm…” He seems to think about it for a second, “dunno.” 

Mahiru sighs in exasperation, “At least don’t sleep on the floor,” he scolds while brushing off dust from one side of Kuro’s sleeve. He feels the boy tense under the contact.

“You’re such a mom,” he says, but Mahiru ignores him in favour of brushing off the rest of the dust from his hoodie. 

“And you’re way too lazy,” Mahiru replies. “Doesn’t rehearsal start soon?” 

Kuro lets out a yawn. “Hyde and Lily said they would be late… so I took a nap.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me, then?” 

“Hmm, it would be a pain.” 

Mahiru feels a smile pull at the corner of his lips, “So you arrived early because….” 

“My neighbours were loud,” says Kuro, looking away. 

Did he come early just so he wouldn’t inconvenience me?

The thought makes him happier than it should, and Mahiru is full blown smiling before he knows it. “They’re your siblings, right?” he recalls a conversation with Kuro where he’d told him about the absolutely copious amount of siblings he had. 

“How did you know that? You stalker.”

Mahiru twitches, “You told me that you idiot!”

The banter between them comes easily, like they had been friends for years rather than texting for a few weeks. Mahiru feels delighted by this fact; that he’s able to be this close to Kuro even after not knowing him for long.

He doesn’t know just how wrong he is. Doesn’t understand how much he doesn’t know. Doesn’t notice how much Kuro hides away. 

“Nii-san!” someone bursts through the door, speeding past Mahiru and crashing right into Kuro. Kuro falls with the impact and Mahiru can only stare in shock. 

“Hyde,” another person speaks from behind him, and Mahiru turns to see the guitarist that was playing in the concert before, “You shouldn’t jump Kuro like that.” 

The boy, Hyde, turns around with a pout. “But I missed him so much,” he drawls, nuzzling closer to Kuro. 

“What a pain,” Kuro sighs, seeming to have relented to his fate before Lily comes over and pulls Hyde off of him. He seems to notice Mahiru then, and turns to him curiously.

“Is this that ‘friend’ you were telling us would come today?”

“You mean Nii-san’s new obsession— oof.”

“Shut up,” Kuro says as he shoves Hyde off of him, who simply bounces back up again with a smile. 

“Obsession?” Mahiru smirks, “and I thought I was the stalker.” 

“Ah this is a pain,” Kuro says, flopping back onto the ground. 

Mahiru rushes forward, “Kuro! I told you not to lay on the floor!” He pulls the lazy boy up and starts brushing him off again, “it’s dirty!” 

“Ngh, don’t care.” 

“You should take better care of yourself,” Mahiru mumbles, furrowing his brows. 

Kuro tenses again, “You’re… a pain.” 

“Why do you always say that? I’m trying to help you!” 

Behind them, Lily giggles, “You two seem to get along well.” 

“Nii-san’s found himself a housewife,” Hyde laughs, clutching at his stomach. 

“H-housewife?” 

Kuro sighs and stands up, “Whatever, let's just start now.” 

“Aww, look at that, he’s embarrassed.” 

Kuro doesn’t reply, opting to instead open a guitar case that had been laying on the floor and pulling the strap over his head. Mahiru watches with interest as Kuro fiddles around with a few wires, adjusting the instrument every now and then. 

“I didn’t know you played the guitar,” Mahiru says, staring at the way Kuro’s fingers pluck at the strings while testing the sound. 

He makes a few more adjustments, “It’s a bass… Lily wanted us to have a fuller sound so…” 

“Kuro said he thought that the guitar was ‘too much of a pain’,” Lily sighs. 

Hyde jumps forward, practically skipping towards the drums, “Even though Lily is actually the one who knows how to play bass.” 

Kuro sends Hyde a glare and Lily starts setting up his guitar, “Don’t say that, Hyde, I’m perfectly comfortable on the guitar.” 

“Lily is more flashy than me, anyways,” Kuro mumbles. 

Mahiru half-expects Lily to be offended by that statement, but instead he tosses his hair over his shoulder and hums, “Yes, I suppose that is true.” 

“If you’re talking about flashiness, I’m the flashiest one here,” Hyde says with pride, pointing a thumb at himself and smiling. 

“And that’s why you’re on drums,” Lily says. 

Mahiru gazes around in wonder, “So were you guys always super into music or something?” 

“I myself have always enjoyed the sound of string instruments, since they are such—” 

“Are we done setting up?” Kuro interrupts, and the other two members make sounds of agreement. Kuro nods to Hyde, and Hyde excitedly knocks the two drumsticks together above his head. 

Kuro plays an introduction, and it’s a little clumsy but Mahiru still feels entranced by the way the sound comes out of the bluenette’s bass. Lily and Hyde join in soon afterwards, and when Kuro starts to sing, Mahiru feels his breath taken away as his mind stills, focusing on the sound that was being played before him. The rhythm was fast and intense, the melody loud and heavy but somehow still coherent. 

And Kuro’s scream seems to convey so many things to Mahiru. Things he wants to know, things he wants to learn. 

They aren’t perfect, but they didn’t need to be. 

There were a few parts that Mahiru recognized from clips that Kuro had sent him, and he feels a little proud hearing the fully fleshed out version, with Kuro’s emotion carrying the instrumental through. 

Mahiru claps when it’s over, and he thinks he sees the faintest hint of a smile on Kuro’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really thought hard about how to approach the conflict between Hyde and Kuro, and my thought was that since that whole conflict was mostly brought about by the fact that they are not humans, now, because they are humans, the conflict should be a bit different from before... Mostly though I just really wanted Hyde on the drums xP 
> 
> The bits with Mahiru and his three friends were also a little difficult since despite Koyuki and Ryusei being a big part of Mahiru's motivation we like, barely see them soooo I hope they aren't too too weird. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! See you next week! <3


	3. Chapter 3

He attends many rehearsals after that, experiences the changes that came along with improvement. He hears new songs being played, Kuro’s growl improves over time, how Hyde learns to hold back his volume and Lily his speed. 

Mahiru also hangs out with them outside of rehearsal, but mostly with Kuro, who pretends to complain whenever Mahiru shows up or asks, but goes along with it anyways. 

It makes him feel warm and bubbly in his chest. 

Their meetings are often in Kuro’s apartment, which he shares with Lily. 

Kuro’s room is a mess of potato chips and ramen, and when Mahiru steps in for the first time, he recoils with horror and demands that they clean it all up before they do anything else. Kuro complains all throughout it. 

“My back is hurting, Mahiru, how could you make me work when I’m like this?” 

Mahiru hands Kuro a trash bag. “Shut up and move it, you lazy bum.” 

And even though he complains, Kuro listens. 

Kuro always listened. 

There is a time where Mahiru manages to drag Kuro into a store to buy groceries. 

“I cannot believe you have only been eating ramen for a week straight,” Mahiru says, pulling Kuro along through the aisles. 

“But Lily is on a trip…” he says, trying to sneak a bag of potato chips into the bag. Mahiru catches him and puts it back on the shelf with a huff. 

“I’m worried about you,” Mahiru says, turning a package of chicken over in his hands, “it isn’t healthy for you to—” 

When he looks up, he finds that Kuro had somehow procured a headband with cat ears on it from the bargain bin next to them and placed them on his head. 

“Nya.” 

Mahiru freezes, and the chicken drops from his hands. It was undoubtedly the most deadpan and unenthusiastic ‘nya’ he had ever heard in his entire life, and coupling with Kuro’s low and rough voice, it was even more out of place. 

“What are you doing,” he finally says, choking when Kuro brings two fists up next to his face as if they were paws. 

“Aren’t I cute, nya.” Kuro asks, and Mahiru doesn’t really know what else to say, so he opts for ignorance. 

“How do you feel about curry?” 

Kuro pretends to ponder it. “A cute cat like me would much rather have fish to eat, nya.”

“Curry it is.” 

Suddenly, Kuro is right next to his face, and he pokes Mahiru’s cheek. “Don’t you think I’m cute, MahiMahi?” 

Mahiru can feel a vein start to form on his forehead and he turns to snap something at Kuro before freezing when he notices just how close Kuro is. 

“Yes,” he says without thinking, immediately coming to regret it. He flushes red. 

Kuro’s facial expression morphs into one of mock horror as he slowly backs away. “Mahiru, you have a thing for nekos, don’t you?” 

“I do not!” 

(Mahiru ends up buying Kuro the headband, along with the groceries) 

Most of the time they spend together, however, is relaxed, with Mahiru silently doing his homework as Kuro plays video games or practices with the bass. There are little words exchanged between them, and even though Mahiru usually likes to talk, he treasures these moments the most. 

It’s in one such moment that he realizes he might have developed some sort of feelings towards Kuro. When he’d placed his head down to take a break, listening to the soft sound of Kuro’s singing, low and rough yet impossibly gentle. The sound had been close to lulling him to sleep, but he supposes that he must have been still enough that Kuro thought he had. 

He feels the lightest touch of fingers through his hair, but it fades as quickly as it had come. 

What stays with him is the absolutely foreign way Kuro says his name. Soft and gentle, there’s a tinge of warmth in his voice that Mahiru had never heard from him before. 

Kuro starts humming, a soft tune that soothes Mahiru’s ears. He feels that familiar, warm feeling fill his chest again, though this time it seems to consume him, spreading through his entire being until he’s sure that he’s bright red, so he keeps his head down if only to hide the embarrassment. 

A part of it is because he wants to listen to this side of Kuro more. This part that feels so different, yet achingly similar to the aloof Kuro he’d known all these months. 

And a part of him hurts, when he realizes just how little he really knew about the other boy. 

Eventually, his second year of highschool comes to an end. His feelings for Kuro had grown stronger over the months since he’d first come to realize it, and his friends take notice of it too. He had yet to tell them much about the boy, nevermind have them meet. He felt as though after everyone met Kuro, he’d need to share, and Mahiru is too selfish to do that. 

That’s why, when Servamp’s first live concert comes around, he’s reluctant to tell any of his friends about it, but Sakuya spots the flyer poking out of his bag and takes it, waving it around and out of his reach. 

“Woah, a concert? Where’d you get something like this?” he asks, still preventing Mahiru from getting to it. 

“Give… it… back…” Mahiru says, struggling against the hand that holds him back. 

Sakuya ignores him, “Oh, it says here… March 30th…” 

“Sa-ku-ya!” Mahiru finally manages to snatch the paper away from Sakuya and holding it to his chest protectively. 

“You’re being quite protective over that, Mahiru,” Ryuusei teases, smirking, “something you wanna hide?” 

Mahiru flushes as the image of Kuro flashes through his mind. “It isn’t like that! It’s just common sense not to take things out of other people’s bags!” 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that,” Sakuya apologizes half-heartedly, scanning the paper a little more thoroughly, “Ooh! One of the bands I like is playing in it!” 

“Really?” Koyuki says, “You two should go, then, we’re finally on spring break and all.” 

“Ehh?” Sakuya whines, “Why don’t you guys come with us?” 

“I got something to do that day,” Ryuusei says. 

“And it’s not really my kind of thing,” Koyuki adds. 

“Mahiru, you’re going, right?” 

“...Yes,” he answers reluctantly. 

“Alright!” Sakuya declares, rolling the paper up and holding it up in the air like a symbol of victory. “It’s decided then.” 

Mahiru feels his nerves start to settle in and he wonders why. Sakuya knows a lot more about music than he does, he knows a lot more bands, and in general would probably understand their music more than Mahiru could. He quickly shakes the thought out of his head. A lot of people would know about Servamp from their performance, anyways, and the more people that knew about them the better. 

Still, a part of Mahiru wishes that he could keep the sound of Kuro’s voice to himself, but it sounds so possessive and unlike him, so he buries that part of himself deep down inside. 

The night of the concert comes around, and Mahiru feels the anticipation throughout his entire body. The crowd is a lot bigger than he thought that it would be, and there are people around him holding cups of beer in their hands.

It’s loud and crowded, but he can feel the buzz of energy around him, and soon he’s so excited that he can barely keep his smile back. 

“Is there a band you like or something playing tonight?” Sakuya asks, giving him an amused side glance. 

Mahiru nods, “Yeah, I’ve known about them for a while and I think they sound really good.”

“And I bet one of them’s that person you’ve been all blushy over these past few months?” 

“Wha—” Mahiru splutters, turning red, “I— no it… I— “ 

Sakuya laughs, “So I’m right, aren't i?” 

The brown haired boy finds himself at a loss for words and pouts “Whatever.” 

Sakuya looks like he wants to press the issue more, but soon the first band steps onto stage. Mahiru is disappointed to see that it isn’t Servamp, and wishes that he’d had a copy of the program with him. He hears the chatter of the people around him fade away as they begin playing, replaced with intense dancing and copious amounts of cheering… or more like screaming? 

Sakuya participates wholeheartedly, and looking around, Mahiru realizes just how out of his element he is. He doesn’t mind though, and focuses on the stage and crowd around him. 

Band after band plays, and Mahiru genuinely does enjoy some of the performances. Sakuya is pointing and gesturing wildly to various players, calling out their names and listing off random things that Mahiru can’t really make out over the sound of the crowd. 

Then, Servamp steps onto the stage. He expects Kuro to shrink back from the crowd, but instead, he stands with a little more confidence than usual. He can almost feel their energy from here, and even the usually calm Lily was practically overflowing with energy. 

“That’s a new band, isn’t it?” 

When Hyde starts on the drums, the crowd goes silent, and Mahiru perks up. He knows this song— has heard it many times during rehearsal. Lily said they wanted to make a song that would surprise people; it would start off slow and calm, with Kuro singing a few lines before the rhythm increases and the melody gets louder and more intense. 

It was one of Mahiru’s favourites, and he holds his breath until Hyde starts his quick solo. 

And then all hell breaks loose. 

Lily seems to be dancing up on the stage, his guitar playing fast and intense. The crowd cheers and Hyde sticks out his tongue, banging his head along to his drums.

Kuro’s singing gets a little more intense, and there’s more of a growl behind his words now. They seem to be getting louder and louder, until the climax where Kuro screams into the mic, leaning forward and putting his whole body into it. 

They’re as close to perfect as Mahiru’s ever seen them, and he can’t help but grin like a maniac when he hears how well they sync together. It’s the best performance he’d ever seen from them, and his heart pounds wildly in his chest as he lets the emotion in Kuro’s voice overwhelm him. 

When they finish, the crowd is going wild, and Mahiru catches a glimpse of the smile on Kuro’s face: his eyes are sparkling a little, and he looks so awake that he’s almost like a different person. There is nothing soft about the smile on his face, it’s wide and dangerous, but even so, Mahiru can't help but feel taken away by it. 

This is the same boy that he bickers with on a weekly basis, the same boy who lazes around listlessly and complains when Mahiru makes him do chores. 

The same boy who had put on a pair of cat ears in the middle of a grocery store, the same boy that whispered Mahiru’s name like it was something precious and beautiful. 

And in the instant that the smile is on Kuro’s face, Mahiru comes to the realization that he is completely and hopelessly in love with the blue-haired singer on the stage that he had met so many months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I said it was gonna be a monster chapter but I lied lol~ I didn't realize had already split it up into two parts....
> 
> The next update will also be a little bit short since I split it from this one... but that's because this was just a really good stopping point ! 
> 
> Also I love getting comments and would love to hear what you thought about the chapter down below! Like any issues with... pacing or something idk... xD 
> 
> Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

Mahiru looks at him with warm, gentle eyes. There isn’t a trace of fear or apprehension, no facade he puts up in an attempt to spare Kuro’s feelings. He falls asleep right in front of him, steals glances at him while doing his homework in curiosity, not caution. 

And if Kuro couldn’t help but fall into that warmth, then who could blame him? 

He could. Because someone as warm and bright as Mahiru didn’t deserve to be burdened by someone like him. 

“Monster.” 

Spring comes with the third year of highschool, and Mahiru feels the elation in his heart as he walks through the cherry blossom trees. 

He wonders if the world had always looked so beautiful. 

His friends have stopped teasing him already, as if the sparkle in his eye and flushed expression had always been there— and Mahiru can’t remember, doesn’t want to remember a world where this feeling didn’t exist. Where he leans against the walls of an alley just to feel a little less alone, just to hear the chatter of other people. 

He has Kuro, now. The days where he sat alone for dinner have become few and far between, filled with beautiful red eyes and soft blue hair. Filled with soft singing and endless bickering, of rehearsals and the sound of music coursing through his veins. 

Some part of him feels as if he is taking advantage of Kuro’s kindness, that the other boy only hangs out with him so much because he doesn’t want to refuse Mahiru. But Mahiru is so desperate to not be alone again that he disregards these thoughts completely, because everything is much simpler if he doesn’t think about it. 

There are a lot of things he ignores, because it would be simpler not to think about it. Things he squashes down in the pit of his stomach, like the way Sakuya stares at him sometimes, or how Kuro still feels so far away. 

Mahiru focuses on much simpler things. 

One day, while Kuro is in his apartment, the blue-haired boy falls asleep, and Mahiru realizes that he had never really seen the boy asleep, despite how lethargic Kuro always was. 

“Kuro?” He calls out, but it comes out much quieter than he wants it to be. The other boy doesn’t stir. 

He tries again, clears his throat, just to make sure, just to be safe. “Kuro?” 

Nothing. Kuro is asleep. 

When Mahiru sees this, he feels his heart tighten, and it’s a little painful but it feels wonderful all the same. He doesn’t even realize as his hands reach out to brush a strand of hair that had fallen into the other boy's face. It flops almost immediately back into the position it was in, and Mahiru settles for just staring at the other boy. 

Oh, how the tables have turned, Mahiru thinks. Kuro looks so relaxed like this, and he’s snoring a little, softly under his breath. 

At that moment, he doesn’t know what possesses him, but he reaches out for Kuro’s hand and entangles his fingers with the other boy’s. He can hear the sound of blood roaring through his ears, and he feels a pit of shame settle in at the pit of his stomach, for taking advantage of his friend like this. 

But the warm, calloused fingers that are pressed against him makes Mahiru forget everything for a moment. 

Then he sees red looking at him, and panics, pulling his hand away. He misses the feeling almost immediately. 

“Kuro?!” 

“What were you doing?” 

Kuro’s voice is hoarse, and his expression is so open and vulnerable, a storm of emotion swirling around in those deep red eyes. Mahiru feels like his heart is in his throat, the previous shame and guilt making his brain go numb. 

“I… uhm…” 

Kuro looks down at his hand, and purses his lips, expression hardening as he closes his fingers into a fist. He swallows, the emotion on his face unidentifiable.

“Do you…” he begins, pausing and seeming to contemplate something before continuing, “Do you like me?” 

The straightforwardness of the question catches Mahiru off guard and he feels his throat close up as fear courses through him. A million different answers race through his mind, and he wonders just what he’s supposed to say. 

After much deliberation, Mahiru takes a deep breath, feeling courage fill his lungs. “I do,” he confesses, eyes shining with determination. 

Kuro’s eyes widen again, his lips part and everything about him softens. His face is flushed slightly pink, and Mahiru is sure he looks the same. “Like—” 

“Romantically,” Mahiru says, leaning forward and watching Kuro blink in surprise, “I like you romantically. Actually, I’d say that I—” 

“Stop.” Kuro interrupts the word vomit that’s about to come out through his mouth and Mahiru recoils. 

“What?” 

“I…” Kuro looks down, hiding himself from Mahiru. 

He feels the oncoming fear of rejection overcome him, but he doesn’t want that, doesn’t want to deal with the complications that would occur after that. 

He doesn’t want to lose this. 

“Can we try?” Mahiru asks, taking Kuro’s hand back in his and forcing the other boy to look at him. 

“But…”

“Please?” Mahiru pleads, unaware of just how much Kuro is unable to refuse him. 

Kuro closes his eyes, breathing out a defeated sigh. “Okay.” 

Mahiru smiles, feeling his heart soar. He can’t control what happens next, and wraps his arms around Kuro, pulling the other boy next to him. He can hear the shaky breaths of Kuro right next to his ear, feel how the bluenette’s heart is beating just as fast as his own. 

Kuro doesn’t return the hug, but Mahiru doesn’t need him to, not when he’s already so happy. 

He has no idea about the turmoil that the other boy is going through. 

Their first date is at a cat cafe, a compromise between the lazing around Kuro wanted to do, Mahiru’s desire of going out, and the shared sentiment that cats were some of the most relaxing creatures there were. 

Mahiru is glad that they’ve come here, because the soft way that Kuro looks at the cats is adorable, and the hesitation as he reaches out to pet them even moreso. 

“You really like cats, don’t you?” Mahiru asks, leaning to rest his chin on the palm of his hand. 

Kuro makes a small noise of confirmation, eyes filled with wonder as the cat purrs at his touch and nuzzles his hand. “They’re quiet and soft,” he says, “unlike you.” 

“Hey!” Mahiru protests. 

A small smile makes its way onto Kuro’s lips and anything else Mahiru was about to say fades away. He settles for simply watching Kuro play with the cat, smiling when Kuro blinks in surprise as the cat licks his hand. In the warm light of the cafe, Kuro’s eyes shine a dark brown, a stark contrast to the red colour that Mahiru is used to. 

“How come your eyes are brown now?” Mahiru asks. He can’t help but feel that the eyes are out of place on Kuro. 

“Tinted contacts,” Kuro responds, bringing the cat up to nuzzle at its nose. Mahiru feels his heart clench at the sight. “My eyes are sensitive to the sun.” 

Mahiru hums. “Is that why you stay inside all the time?” 

“Yes,” Kuro says, then sighs dramatically, “and you took me out into the sun… how cruel of you. Mahiru.” 

“I didn’t know,” Mahiru apologizes, reaching over the table to take hold of one of Kuro’s hands, “sorry… we can just stay inside for our next date.” 

Kuro stares at the hand wrapped around his, blinking with wide eyes. He looks away. 

“Tch..” he scoffs, but it’s soft and almost shy sounding, “you’re such a pain.” 

The waitress comes with their menu soon after, and she smiles at them. 

Mahiru smiles back, but Kuro shrinks away, and Mahiru mourns the loss of Kuro’s hand in his. 

“What do you want to eat?” Mahiru asks, scanning through the different dishes they had on the menu. 

“Ramen.” 

“They don’t have ramen here, Kuro.” 

“Then… I don’t really care...” The cat was now playing on his lap, and Mahiru smiles a little when he sees how gently Kuro is playing with its paws. 

“Then, hamburg steak for both of us!” 

“Your favourite, huh?” 

Mahiru pouts, “Do you have a problem with it?” 

Kuro turns his gaze to Mahiru, “Not really,” he says, “It’s better if we eat the same food, anyways, like when we eat together.” 

The boy freezes when he realizes what had just come out of his mouth, flushing red. 

“Agh, this is a pain,” Kuro mutters, looking away in embarrassment and trying to hide his blush with his bangs. “You don’t like eating alone, right? That’s all it is.” 

His words fill Mahiru with inexplicable joy, and he smiles wide. Kuro’s only response is to continue playing with the cat. 

Their food comes in, and Mahiru digs in happily, enjoying the comfortable silence that hangs between them. 

When they’re walking home, Mahiru takes Kuro’s hand in his, and swings their arms back and forth like a kid. 

“What a pain,” he says, but there’s no bite behind his words. 

Mahiru laughs and swings harder, smiling up at Kuro. 

A hand comes up to his hair, and Mahiru takes a sharp intake of breath at the way Kuro is looking at him, soft and full of affection. 

“There was a petal in your hair,” Kuro mumbles, seeing how red Mahiru is. 

And Mahiru’s emotions flood through him. 

“I love you,” he says, breathlessly. 

Kuro’s eyes go wide, but there is no flush on his cheeks. 

“I…” 

“You don’t have to reply,” Mahiru interrupts, “You can reply back anytime.” 

“I’m sorry,” Kuro says instead, and though the words pierce through his heart, the way Kuro silently slips his hand out of Mahiru’s grasp is much more heartbreaking.

With each date they go on, the more Mahiru finds himself falling. Most of their dates are small, taking place in the privacy of one of their rooms, away from prying eyes.

These dates are the same as the hangouts they had before, but Mahiru enjoys it more than anything, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves to listen to Kuro sing and play guitar, how he can sit with their sides pressing together. He loves the way that Kuro would sometimes lay his head in his lap, letting him brush his fingers through it and marvel at their softness. 

Other times, when Kuro is a little more tired than usual, he lets Mahiru lean his head on his shoulder, and he’ll nuzzle into his hair and sing softly to him until he thinks that Mahiru’s fallen asleep. Sometimes, Kuro would lace their fingers together and relax against him until they both actually drifted off to sleep. 

He wants to pepper little kisses all over Kuro’s face, wants to hold him in his arms and cuddle with him as they sleep; but each time Mahiru tries to initiate anything, Kuro shies away. 

Mahiru doesn’t mind, though, because this is more than he can ask for. This companionship, the ability to be next to someone; even if Kuro doesn’t get any closer, Mahiru is fine with it, because at least he isn’t getting further away. 

Mahiru is happy with the way things are. 

But the universe has a penchant for change, and as much as Mahiru wishes for things to stay simple, they couldn’t remain that way forever. 

One day, Hyde changes. 

Lily and Kuro notice this change, how Hyde is playing quietly and off-beat, he’s playing way too slow, unenergetic during his solos. Lily calls a stop to their rehearsal and turns to Hyde with a concerned expression.

“Hyde? Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” he clutches his drumsticks tighter, “it’s fine.” 

Kuro doesn’t seem too concerned with the situation, and decides to flop down next to Mahiru on the floor, “You’re being even more lazy than me,” he says with a yawn, “it’s a pain to deal with, so tell us what it is.” 

“Hey, Kuro, that’s too insensitive,” Mahiru whisper-yells. 

Lily laughs it off, “well, Kuro has always been like that,” he says, “we’re all used to it, I’m sure Hyde knows that, right?” 

Hyde doesn’t reply, and he seems to be trembling. 

“Hyde?” Lily says to break the silence. 

And then Hyde snaps. 

“A pain?” he yells as he stands up, his drumsticks clattering to the floor, “is everything a pain for you?” 

Kuro is taken aback.

“Ophelia is dead!” Hyde says, marching over to Kuro and grabbing him by the collar, “Is that ‘such a pain’ to you?” 

“Hey, Hyde!” Mahiru tries to pull the distraught boy off of Kuro, “calm down! I’m sure that Kuro didn’t mean it like tha—”

“Shut up!” he roars, pushing Mahiru off of him “What the hell do you know?” 

Mahiru stumbles back and hits the wall behind him. 

“Hyde!” Lily rushes over, holding the struggling Hyde back, “I understand that you’re upset but Mahiru is right, there was no way Kuro could’ve known!” 

“Let go of me, Lily!” Hyde snarls, “None of you understand, none of you know anything!”

“Why do you get to be happy?” he cries, “When she couldn’t?” 

Kuro reaches a hand out, “Hyde—” 

“No!” the blonde breaks out of Lily’s grasp and smacks Kuro’s hand away, “Don’t touch me!” 

“She was going to be something!” he says, “so then why do you get to be happy?” 

Kuro’s eyes widen. “I…” 

“Why do you get to be happy, when you’re just like them, a—” 

“Hyde!” Kuro yells. Mahiru’s never heard Kuro raise his voice like that outside of singing before, and when he looks at him, he expects him to be angry. Instead, the blue-haired boy’s face was twisted in fear, and he was shaking almost as much as Hyde was. 

When Hyde hears the desperation in Kuro’s voice, he stops, and looks away with guilt. “I’m leaving,” he mutters, and the door slams behind him. 

“I’m going after him,” Lily says, and he flashes the two of them a strained smile as he approaches the door. “Kuro.” 

The boy doesn’t answer. 

“You should tell him,” Lily says before walking out the door, leaving Mahiru and Kuro there alone. 

Mahiru reaches a hand out for Kuro’s, and wraps his fingers around his shaking fists. “Are you okay?” he asks. 

Kuro gives him the most pained expression that Mahiru has ever seen, and yanks his hand away. “M’fine.” 

“What did Lily want you to tell me?” 

He presses his lips together, eyes trained on the ground. His shoulders are raised and his fists are so tightly clenched together that Mahiru worries that he’s drawing blood. 

“Kuro?” 

“I’ll walk you home,” he says, but he doesn’t turn to look at Mahiru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO and happy saturday! 
> 
> I just read through this translation for the parallel summer event and Kuro's route had me squealing I- (seriously you need to go check it out if you like kuromahi... I think there are other routes as well but uhm i maybe kind of didnt read them lol) 
> 
> anyways i was doing some research for the fic and learned that there is something called ocular albinism, and thats basically albinism that affects the eyes... I know they arent actually super red eyes but I thought that it was a nice detail to add for Kuro (and for plot reason huehuehue) 
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Goodbye (night? idk i need to sleep i got kind of carried away during editing lol)


	5. Chapter 5

Kuro distances himself after that, and even though it hurts, Mahiru keeps pushing, pushing, convinced that the problem is somehow with  _ him _ . But it’s like they’re standing on ice, and the more he pushes, the farther and farther Kuro gets from him. 

Everything cumulates one night, when Mahiru is once again pushing. He’s following the advice of some stupid magazine he’d seen the girl’s in his class reading. 

‘Date ideas for when your boyfriend is super distant!’ 

One of the items listed was cooking together, and Mahiru, desperate, had decided that it would be a great idea. And so far, things seemed to be going well. Kuro was currently standing next to him, watching as he stirred their curry. 

He’d picked curry because it reminded him of when Kuro had put neko ears on at the grocery store, back when things were still normal. A part of him wonders if it would have been better if he had never confessed at all, but Mahiru swallows it down along with all of the other complicated emotions he feels. 

“Kuro, can you pass me a plate?” he asks, and the boy nods. 

There’s a crash from behind him, and Mahiru turns. The floor of the kitchen is covered with shards of shattered ceramic, and he quickly rushes over. 

Kuro stands there, his expression blank, “Sorry,” he says, voice raspy. 

Mahiru squats down and starts to pick up the shards of the plate, feeling panic well up in his chest. This needed to go well, he wanted it to go well. 

“Ah!” he hisses as one of the shards cuts his fingers. His mind is a mess, and no matter how much he tries to simplify things, sort them out in his head; every thought is knotted into an incomprehensible mess. 

He doesn’t even want to untangle it, doesn’t want to look at that part of him. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to calm down. He can use a broom, why didn’t he get a broom first? This date was going to be a disaster and it was all— 

“My fault,” Kuro mutters, and Mahiru looks up.

“Kuro?” 

“It’s my fault,” Kuro repeats, kneeling down slowly. His hands tremble as he grips onto the wrist of Mahiru’s injured hand, his eyes wide and filled with guilt. 

Mahiru is confused, “What? Of course it isn’t, I should’ve—” 

“I shouldn’t have said yes,” Kuro says, and the pieces of himself that Mahiru had desperately trying to keep together breaks all at once. 

“What?” He tries to ignore the way his voice cracks, but Kuro flinches at it. He lets go of Mahiru’s wrist and backs away. “Kuro?” 

Kuro doesn’t reply, curling his hands into fists at his sides before tucking them away in his pockets. He turns away from Mahiru and starts walking towards the door.

Mahiru can only sit there in shock, watching as Kuro just leaves. He is alone in his apartment once again, and he smells the curry start to burn from behind him. 

“Eh?” he croaks as the tears start to pour down his face. He doesn’t bother with cleaning up the rest of the shattered plate, and wipes furiously at his eyes. He stands up, holding back his sobs as he goes to turn off the stove. 

He tries not to think about it, focuses on scooping the rice out of the cooker and onto a plate, his knuckles white. The curry goes on top, and he sets the plate down on the table. 

His apartment feels much darker than before, though, and there is nobody here to accompany him while he eats. There is no matching plate of food, no slouching boy sitting in the chair next to him. 

He is alone. And when the realization hits him, really hits him, Mahiru starts to cry. 

  
  


Kuro doesn’t text him back for the rest of the week, doesn’t pick up his calls. Mahiru is a complete mess and his friends give him concerned looks in class. He tries to pretend that he’s fine, but he sees the way Sakuya looks at him, how Ryuusei gets him extra bread and Koyuki gives him pats on the back. 

It’s when he gets a text from Lily on a Friday night that he feels a bit of hope return. 

_ Gray’s bar. Please help Kuro.  _

It’s the fourth time Mahiru has felt so much emotion behind seeing Servamp again, and he practically runs to Gray’s bar, where he had met Kuro for the first time. 

He knows that he isn’t allowed inside, so he turns into the alley and leans against the wall, taking in gulps of air, half from nerves and half from exhaustion. The back door leading into the bar opens, and he sees Lily come out first. He gives him a reassuring smile, and his heart thumps in his chest as he sees Kuro come into view. Hyde tries to wave something to him, but Lily shakes his head at him and pulls them away. 

It’s just the two of them. 

Mahiru had planned so many things to say on the way here, but when he finds himself in front of Kuro, everything rushes out of his brain as his throat closes up. 

“Mahiru?” Kuro says, slowly, like he doesn’t believe that the brown haired boy is actually in front of him. 

Mahiru misses the voice so much, and hearing it again, even though it’d only been a week, brings tears to his eyes. He feels a little angry as well, but all he knows is that everything is too complicated and he doesn’t like the way that feels. He steps forward and buries his face in Kuro’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other boy because he’s afraid that he’ll leave again, and Mahiru will be left in the alley with nothing but himself and the chattering of strangers. 

There are so many emotions, ugly emotions, complicated emotions, all of them wage a war inside his body as he tries to hold them down. “Let’s go back, Kuro,” he says, though he isn’t sure where he wants to go back to, or if it was even a place at all. 

There’s a hand on his chin, and it tilts it upwards so he can see Kuro’s face. Kuro’s brows are furrowed, slightly, and Mahiru sees the hurricane of emotion that seemed to always rage beneath the surface of his apathetic gaze. 

“You’re crying,” Kuro mutters softly, voice cracking as he cups Mahiru’s face and uses a thumb to wipe at his tears. His hands are gentle as they swipe across Mahiru’s cheeks, like he’s afraid that if he presses any harder, Mahiru would shatter. 

“Of course I am,” Mahiru says. 

For a while, they stay like that, and just when he thinks that everything might go back to normal, Kuro is suddenly holding him an arms length away. 

“What are you—” 

“I can’t deal with this,” Kuro says, and Mahiru should’ve felt saddened. He should have felt hurt. 

Instead, he feels anger bubble up in him, and he grabs Kuro’s wrists. “What do you mean you can’t deal with this?” 

He catches a glimpse of Kuro’s face, and it's another expression that he’s never seen before. There’s so much  _ darkness  _ there, and Mahiru finds himself shivering under it. 

“We… we can work this out together,” Mahiru says, stumbling over his words, “C’mon, Kuro?” 

Kuro doesn’t cry, but there’s so much pain in his expression, the way his lips tremble, the way his hands shake as he buries them in his hair. His voice is thick with emotion when he speaks, the same kind of emotion he sings with during rehearsals, when he’s on stage and screaming out into the world. “I just can’t.” 

Mahiru had always been entranced by that emotion, been fascinated by it. But when he sees it right in front of him, sees just how much Kuro hurts, how much he hides, Mahiru is filled with fear, and he realizes that he really doesn’t know anything about Kuro at all. 

He doesn’t want to face this emotion, the one that he had listened to from afar. It’s too complicated, everything is too complicated, he needs to make it simple. Simple. Simple. 

(when he looks back, in the future, he’d realize he was just scared.) 

“Let’s just go back to the way it was,” Mahiru says, but he doesn’t dare step closer to the trembling boy. 

Kuro is silent, he stays silent, but when he looks up again, that emptiness that Mahiru had become so familiar with is back and for a horrible, horrible moment, Mahiru feels  _ relief.  _ He smiles, but it holds no happiness, and steps closer and closer, until he cups Kuro’s face in his hands. He isn’t aware of how much he’s trembling, but Kuro is. 

  
  


(“Why do you always take on all these class projects?” He’d asked once, “sounds like a pain.” 

“Because someone has to do it.” Mahiru replies, poking the needle through the sleeves of the costume.) 

  
  


“You know I love you, right?” Mahiru says, voice shaking. Kuro doesn’t say anything in response, and swallowing down his fear, he asks, “Do you love me, Kuro?”

  
  


Kuro doesn’t reply. He can’t let himself reply. 

  
  


Kuro doesn’t say anything, and Mahiru is so, so desperate for some sort of affection, some sort of reaction, that he stupidly,  _ stupidly,  _ leans forward and kisses Kuro. He isn’t aware of the tears that run down his cheeks, of how the way they press into the other boy burns like acid.

Mahiru feels Kuro gasp as their lips press together, a hand coming up to squeeze at one of Mahiru’s own. When Mahiru pulls away, he sees the way that Kuro’s eyes quiver, and understands that he has done nothing but worsen the situation. 

(Just like when he had reached out for Kuro’s hand.) 

Kuro wraps his fingers around Mahiru’s wrists, halfheartedly trying to pull Mahiru's hands away from his face. Mahiru doesn't budge, and Kuro's grip tightens, but he doesn't try to move them away. 

“You don’t have to love me,” he says, his eyes guarded and voice hoarse. There’s something else there, an impenetrable darkness that Mahiru is afraid to touch. In the dark alleyway, Kuro looks almost dangerous, and for a split second Mahiru flinches, fingers jerking against Kuro’s pale cheeks. 

The look that Kuro gives him is unreadable, but he steps back. Once, twice, slipping out of Mahiru's grasp. 

And then he turns, walks away into the shadows, and Mahiru is left alone once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeellooo this is a litttle late because uni has just started fr me and w o w i v a s t l y underestimated the amount of work that i was going to get on the first day (literally have been working nonstop from tuesday >M<) 
> 
> anyways this chapter marks the end of part 1... i guess it'd make more sense to split this up into two parts but i'd rather keep it all in one place ykwim? the next chapter is kind of an interlude and i might put that up next week but i might wait a little longer so i can write a few more chapters... don't wanna post the last chapter and never finish lol. 
> 
> University is a bit insane rn but once i catch a break I will 95% write and eventually post the rest (I even had a dream about how I'd finish this fic lol... my conscious is screaming) 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! off to finish... my three other courses of... content haha...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody and welcome to my first KuroMahi fic, I'm going to try to update every saturday and actually finish this one because I have a bad habit of not finishing anything I write! XD 
> 
> For some reason Kuro as some sort of metal/rock band singer with some other Servamps backing him was an idea that I really enjoyed, soooooo here we are. 
> 
> Hope y'all need this as much as I do lmao.


End file.
